By Michael Henningsen
Oh, the Glamour: So you think this job is all fun and games and free shows? You’re right … most of the time, anyway. Except for occasions like this past Tuesday, for instance, when I embarkedon a mini-tour of Denver, Colo., with my good friend Joanne Deers on in an attempt to witness our very own Rondelles open for SonicYouth at the Ogden Theater.
So off we went, seven boring hours spent putting more miles on my car and eating truck stop junk food. We pulled into Denver right on schedule, dropped 50 bucks apiece on mediocre sushi ata picturesque bar in picturesque downtown Denver and headed off to the show. Our names, of course, were not on the guest listas promised, at which point we would have happily purchased ticketsexcept that there weren’t any left. Imagine our surprise, though,when young Joanne managed to steal a peek at the list, finding her own name after having anxiously awaited the mysterious “updatedlist” for 20 minutes. The idiot in the box office sort of apologized, gave us our tickets and sent us to the metal detector line where we waited another 20 minutes to be “patted down”by security guards who are too stupid to be cops. We got in justin time not to see the Rondelles. At all.
Helium came on next, successfully boring everyone but me into submission. I like Helium. By the time Sonic Youth took the stage,security agent No. 111 had forced me to move six or seven times,claiming no one was allowed to lean on the railing, sit on the floor or lean against the wall while everyone but me leaned on the railing, sat on the floor or leaned against the wall. It wasall really very interesting. Joanne was nowhere to be found. The last time Mr. 111 asked me to move, I was compelled to insist that he show me where he expected me to sit, stand or whatever.He pointed out a place on the floor directly in front of a row of chairs. I dutifully sat where instructed, just in time to get kicked in the back by disgruntled Denver resident No. 638. AsI turned to, um, address Mr. 638, he attempted to spit on me.Just in time for me to stand up, wheel around and get off one decisive shot to the midface before my new friend got off his chair and gave me the ol’ right back atcha. Then we both got kicked out before Sonic Youth played any of the old shit. Then we droveback.
Incidentally, the Rondelles have been asked to open for Versus in Denver late next month. I can’t wait!
From the Weekly Wire 5/27/98