The Blabbering Optimist #6 “Corporate Baseball Still Sucks 95”
Helium Mary Timony was actually quite nice (an impromptu interview)
Approaching rock n roll stars is not something I’m good at, but I mustered up every bit of my (ahem, hack) indie rock muscle to talk to Ms. Timony before their show at 7th St. Entry. I spied Mary and fellow Heliumer Ash Bowie way too many times in a half block radius in a ten minute time frame, leaving me with that temporary moment of “I shoulda talked to them” regret, so asking her really stupid questions was needed for my emotional well-being. May I take this moment to curse the name of Paul Alexander Cortes (hear that ladies??) for not faxing the guest list I was on?? Anyway, Helium’s latest Lp the Dirt of Luck is a winner and Mary Timony couldn’t have been nicer to me and my recorder (not to mention moronic queries). Whatta sweetheart. (These topics are all ideas I once had for a theme issues which never came to be).
MINNESOTA PRIDE :
Have you ever been to Minnesota before?
Mary- Once when I was really little, but we haven’t played here. I was with my parents. Well, we were just driving through, and so, no, Ive never really BEEN to MN.
I saw you and Ash Bowie coming out of the restaurant around the corner. Did you enjoy it?
Mary-Uh, no. I’ve got a cold and I wanted to drink some juice or eat something besides pizza.
TOURIST ATTRACTIONS :
Have you been to any tourist attractions as of late?
Mary-Well, not really; not on this tour. I was in Madrid and went to El Virtiro [ed??], the main boat pond. Have you ever been to Madrid? [tbo laughs “no”] Theres this park in the middle of the city people hang out in take walks in. Theres this boat pond, and its so overpopulated with fish that if you throw anything down in the water the fishll think its food and youll see all their little mouths, and theres this really weird sound, like if you threw a piece of bread, you could hear all their little mouths eating the bread.
THE DAILY GRIND:
Do you have a day job right now, or does anyone in the band?
Mary- Shawn is working in a store that sells cabinets and sinks. I have been doing phone answering stuff, nothing too interesting.
LOCAL NON-MUSICAL CELEBRITIES:
Do you have any local celebrities back home that you really enjoy?
Mary- In Boston theres this guy named Mr. Butch who hangs out and everyone knows him, and he lives on the street. Hes really tall and has dreadlocks and plays guitar on the street, but he doesnt actually play, he just has his electric guitar picks around.
I guess theres the standard high school question
Mary-What was I like in high school? I went to a Catholic girls high school and was a bad kiddidnt get kicked out but I didnt do so well. Then I went to this alternative high school.
For bad kids?
Mary-Well, kind of, but it was more just like you called your teachers by their first names and had philosophy classes. My third year of high school my junior year was a public high school for the performing arts in DC which was really really cool.
Was it like fame?
Mary-No, but the same type of thing.
So you didnt go dancing on car hoods?
Mary-No, but Debbie Allen did go there, and I met lots of famous people like EarthWindFire, Tito Jackson, and Wynton Marsalis.
Tito Jackson just happened to pass through?
Mary-Theyd come to visit the kids and talk. Dionne Warwick and all these people came to my high school; it was cool.
Did she make any psychic predictions?
Mary-No [how nice of Mary to laugh at my feeble attempt at humor]
Great Hair vs. No Fuss?
Irony vs. Novelty?
Lou Barlow vs. Toothpaste?
Mary-Lou Barlow. I dont know if I understand that one. He doesnt use toothpaste?
Oh OH! The big question of the issue. You know the Huts, like Jaba thefrom Star Wars? How co you think they reproduced?
Mary-MaybeI think they must reproduce like male humans do because he really liked Princess Leia, remember that? And there was some weird sexual thing about it. It was really offensive. Were there other huts besides Jaba?
Some peoples theory is that there is only Jaba the Hut and some people’s is that Jaba is really fat and felt bad about himself and kept Princess Leia, not because he really wanted her but just to feel powerful.
Mary-That’s a good theory. Okay, this is what I think. I don’t think he hung out with other huts very much.
So he was a geek?
Mary-Yeah he was a geek. If he lived in a good community of Huts, he wouldn’t have wanted Princess Leia, but he was frustrated at her because he couldn’t reproduce with her, so instead he just kept her chained.
*And of course, Mary Timony likes 10 inch records.
Interview and zine by Yoonie Helbig. Reprinted without permission, but Yoonie if you see this email me!